How To Create Your Own Necessity For Your Self-Improvement

Tyler Lafleur

HPHI Functional Medicine Necessity

First off, what is necessity?

Necessity isn't what you have to do.

It is why you HAVE to do something!


To lose the 15lbs that you gained over the holidays or you’ll embarrass yourself come bikini season.

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Make $60,000 per year or your family CANNOT live the same lifestyle that they do now. 


To make sure that you pay your electric bill or you’ll be eating by candlelight.

That is the nitty-gritty of necessity.

Necessity trumps wants, wishes, and intentions.


Low Performers vs. High Performers

One hour of action will beat 1,000 vision boards. 

Well, leaders and high performers do this really well.

Low performers and the incompetent struggle to understand why they simply “can’t”.

You can know what it is that you need to do, and have all the energy in the world to do it, but some people simply cannot get themselves to DO THE WORK.

Everyone would rather be sitting on the beach or in a hot tub drinking margaritas! We ALL enjoy those things.

High performers make themselves do the work even when they don’t “feel like it”.

That is the epitome of Self-Discipline.

So, how do you create your own necessity without having to have someone else or something else force you to do what you know you ought to do?

HPHI Functional Health Self-Disicipline

There are 3 main reasons for not having a high performance, necessity mindset.

1- Your Identity is wrapped around being who you are currently.

Think about it: how will you ever change if everyone you care about likes you for exactly who you are.

If you change, they might not want to be friends with you.
They like the “you” that they can expect.

If your identity is congruent with someone who lives for the weekend, then by default you will loathe the weekdays and your job.

If your identity if wrapped up in someone who eats chips and drinks alcohol, good luck going to a Mexican restaurant and sticking to your diet.

If your identity loves being the person that just “can’t catch a break”, then you will forever be a victim in this world.

"The good leader knows that she must pay a heavy price for considering that path. Not only must she pay a heavy price personally, but socially as well.

She won’t find a lot of support for the pursuit of this kind of excellence among her peers. If she strives to be someone other than who she is, she will be shunned by most for just that intent alone.” - Dr. Lee Thayer

If you do not or cannot view yourself as someone who is:

  • Capable

  • Worthy

  • Or deserving

You will forever wade around in the pool of mediocrity.


“We do not have habits. Our habits HAVE US.” - Dr. Lee Thayer

Until you change “who you are” you cannot become or perform as well as the person you wish to be. 

It simply won’t happen.

I see this failure play out too many times in my Functional Medicine practice.

2. You are not "Had By" anything great and worthy.

Most people who cannot seem to achieve their goals in life are clearly not obsessed with them.

They set certain goals because they are either popular or others may have suggested that they strive for them, but if you watch their actions, you will notice the half-hearted effort and inevitable failure that surrounds them.

These are the people who:

  • Wake Up - Snooze 15 times

  • Drink sugary coffee

  • Watch the clock until lunch

  • Act busy until they clock out

  • Then go home and pour a drink while watching Bird Box and Game Of Thrones.

Rinse, Wash, Repeat…
Every…single…day of their boring, meaningless lives.

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It is the same for empowering yourself to succeed with your diet goals.

If you understand how food impacts the body (for better or worse) while experiencing the benefits of a better way of eating, then you become empowered, and you don't need a coach to help you reach your goals.

You just need to keep doing what you have learned that has worked so well.

High performers are much different. They aren’t burdened with all that “stuff” that low performers do that gets in their way.

They are too busy being drug along by something greater than themselves as opposed to wishing and hoping their lives away wondering why others have it so much easier.

High Performers love the grind.

Low Performers look for shortcuts around the pain and learning.

3. You have no sense of duty or responsibility.

Members of the Armed Forces are proud for a reason: they have a sense of duty for their country.

High Performance Men have a sense of duty to their wives and kids.

High Performance Women have a sense of duty to their household and nurturing their family.

High Performance Pastors have an incredible sense of duty to God and getting others to meet him some day.

HPHI High Performance Accountability

Low performers have no sense of duty, urgency, or accountability. 

They detest those they dare to challenge their current thinking or have the audacity to make them better.

The true definition of caring is not allowing the other person to default themselves.

Who are you not allowing to default themselves?
What do you tell them?
How do you say it?

Low performers have a need to be right and a need to be liked.

High performers say and do what is necessary for the other person to succeed and become more competent tomorrow than they are today.


So, which type of person or you:

  • A Low Performer lacking necessity,
  • or a High Performing, Necessitating beast?

What do your actions show?

Permissiveness and affluence do not seem to contribute much to performance.

Necessity does –whether it comes from inside or outside the individual, or in some combination.

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